Dear Gwen
by CrumbKitty
Summary: Even in a world full of zombies, you were always beautiful and hopeful. Dear Gwen... Onesided Gwen x Cody. Implied one-sided NoCo if you squint hard enough. One-shot


Author's Note: There needs to be more zombie themed Total Drama fanfictions. Yes/yes? Somewhat of a onesided Cody/Gwen...WITH ZOMBIES! The zombies aren't a huge part of it though. And this is a one-shot, by the way.

And sorta, implied one-sided NoCo. If you squint hard enough, you'll see it.

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><p>Remember when you asked me to kill you? I remember it. It was the night after Trent died. Your dark eyes were wet and glazed, like you weren't even there when asking me it. But still, the words came from your blue-smeared mouth. Remember when you asked me to kill you? You made it sound like a joke, but I knew it wasn't. When I told you I wasn't going to, you quickly changed the subject and ran to your room. I knew you were upset.<p>

Remember when you told me I should have died instead of Trent? I don't blame you. But, still I remember everything from that day.

"You know, Cody, you should have been you!" I remember you screamed the words at me so loud that Noah looked up from his book—a feat that even Izzy couldn't accomplish. I remember glancing from you to Noah—whose eyebrows were raised in questioning-to you again. Your face was red in anger under your white make-up. But you were still beautiful even then.

"Gwen, I understand you're upset but-"

"Trent shouldn't have died, it should have been you. You're useless right now."

Gwen, I don't blame you.

Remember the night after you said that? You entered the room Noah and I shared and climbed into my little make-shift cot. As I slept, I felt the extra weight on my bed and there you were. You looked like you were crying, but still you gave me a shaky smile. You looked at me and said, "Cody.." then pressed your wet face onto my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around you, hugging you, but you didn't say anything. Then, after a few minutes, you wrapped your arms around mine and looked up at me. I couldn't help but notice how beautiful you still were when you cried. Broken, a different side of you, but still beautiful. You looked up at me and said in a trembling, cracking voice, "Cody..I'm sorry."

I could hardly hear you-it was almost a whisper-but still I understood and so I said, "I know."

We sat there in silence for a good half an hour. I remember Noah walking in from getting a bottle of water and just raising his eyebrow at us, debating whether or not to make a sarcastic comment, then shrugging and walking off to sleep his cot on the other side of the room. I know you didn't notice this, because you had pressed your face against my shoulder and you had me hugged me close to you. I could feel your warmth and I thought it was funny how many times I imagined you in my bed and how this wasn't how I imagined it. So I made some stupid joke and you gave me a small laugh.

I really loved your laugh.

Then, you got up to leave. I asked you if you were alright and you gave a small, comforting nod. I told you good night and said I hoped you would have sweet dreams. As you started to leave, I yawned, and then I felt the soft brush of your lips against mine. (I thought I imagined it.)

Then, as I sat shocked, you waved and whispered, "sleep tight," with a cute and tiny smile.

The next day, it was like everything was normal again. We were friends, but you still treated me like a brother or something. That whole night seemed like a dream, but then Noah mentioned it casually to me and I realized it wasn't. I remember wondering why you acted like nothing happened. But I was so happy that something had happened that I didn't mention it.

The next week, you had these moods. Sometimes you treated me like a stalker, other times like a good friend.

But...

Remember the day you disappeared? You said you needed some time to think...alone. About Trent and everything. So you wanted to leave the house for a bit, without anyone else. I didn't think that was a good idea, but Noah gave me a look that said 'Are you really trying to reason with a woman? Ah, you're a dead man.' (Noah had those kind of looks; you and I used to laugh about them.)

So I didn't say anything. I just asked you to take a gun to be careful, just in case there were the undead around. Remember? You shot me a glare and said, "I can take care of myself."

(Then Noah gave me a 'I told you so, you shouldn't have said anything' look and went back to reading one of the old books he looted from the library.)

Remember, I just said, "Uh, okay, Gwen. Have fun!" and gave you a shaky thumbs up and a gap-toothed grin? And then you glared at me and Noah and then stormed out the door, slamming it shut.

(But I realized, you happened to take the gun. And I smiled at that.)

Remember when you went missing for a week? We couldn't find you, no matter how hard we searched.

Remember the day we found you? I wonder if you do, looking down from Heaven at us. (I remember Izzy telling me doesn't believe in heaven or hell. Well, I can't believe in hell, but I have to believe in heaven. I couldn't stand it, not believing you're somewhere better.) We found you behind the alley at concert hall which Trent would always hang out at. You were sprawled out among trash. Bloody and torn up. Clumps of your beautiful, fading hair was missing; other strands of hair held a dark red color. Several parts of your body were ripped apart savagely and your intestines were hanging out. Noah tried to hold me steady, he whispered soothingly, "Don't look at her, you don't want to remember her this way, Cody." At that point, I remember vaguely how Noah's family had all died this way, even his baby sister-which he would always fondly tell me about with a smile on his usually sad face-and his dog. His scrawny arms wrapped around me and tried blocking me from seeing you, but it didn't work. I saw everything. Every wound and every mark.

What got me was...your face. It was peaceful-pale lips twisted into some sort of smile, despite the glazed, dead eyes staring out at me. You looked like you could just get up and hang out with me, if it weren't for those eyes and wounds.

When we got back from burying you, I remember sitting dazed in your room. I took in the decorations, the band posters you stole from the local music store. It was full of life. Unlike you.

I wouldn't eat for days. Noah tried forcing some food on me—you've got to eat, we need you, he said—but I wouldn't have it, because you couldn't anymore. All I could think about was how you were devoured by a zombie. So I didn't eat. The images of you were burned into my mind.

I often stayed up, crying in my room. I had nightmares about you. I cried so much that Noah would often wake up and try to comfort me. He would tell me about his family and how his friends helped him get through it. (I know he never got through it. His eyes always held a sad hint to them. Noah pretends to read a book, most of the time, sitting there and pretending to be the normal one of the house but it's all fake. His eyes never move and he flips pages absently. Once, on his sister's third birthday, I heard him sobbing in his cot, early at the beginning of the day.)

But nothing worked.

Gwen, I miss you so much.

Gwen, I remember everything about you.

Dear Gwen, you're right...it should have been me. I'm sorry.

With all my love, Cody.

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><p>"Cody? Where are you?" Noah called, his black eyebrows scrunching up in annoyance. "We have to raid some more supermarkets, our rations are running out. Stop masturbating and get your laz—Holy Freud..."<p>

Noah's hands trembled as he glanced up at the figure swinging from a noose. Cody. He gave a gulp and out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a piece of paper. His shaking hands held the paper as he read it. His eyes scanned the words, taking them in slowly. 'It should have been me,' it read, Noah's teeth grinded against each other as he took in the words.

"Cody..." He felt his eyes water, something that hasn't really happened since he discovered his family, dead, bleeding and devoured by the undead.

Again, he whispered, "Cody...it shouldn't have been you, damn it. It shouldn't have..."

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><p>The End.<p> 


End file.
